January 2009

Only 4 more slots left in this Chili Takedown!!!

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The Takedown entries are coming down to the wire!!! There is limited space, and this Takedown promises to be the biggest ever!!! Union Pool can only fit 30 entries, so soon I will be forced to turn entrants away!!! It’s not that the takedown is getting too big for its britches, its just that I rule so bad, tons of people have signed up early, in a mad rush (because the takedown rules so bad). If you are DEADLY serious about entering, then by all means, email me and I’ll try and make room!!! But don’t hate me if you try to enter too late and all I can say is come on down and eat delicious chili instead, because that is super fun as well…

Countdown to The Takedown !!!!

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REMEMBER TO EMAIL MATT TIMMS IN ORDER TO ENTER! IF I DON’T CONFIRM WITH YOU, I CAN’T GUARANTEE YOU A CHILI STATION!!!!

Only a few slots left at this chili takedown!!! Feb 8th at 5PM Union Pool is at 484 Union Ave in Williamsburg Brooklyn !!!  It’s never too late to sign up!!! That being said, don’t be too late to sign up!!! there is a limited number of spots, and competitors are writing in daily to ride the chili snake all the way to the very depths of hell!! Write Matt Timms to enter at mtimms7 at hotmail dot com !!!

Contestants, look forward to a $100 cash prize and other prizes donated generously by the jaw-droppingly good people at The Brooklyn Kitchen and Clarkson Potter!!!

And for all details, check this earlier post!!

Chili – by Philip Morris !!!

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Here is the first chili cookbook I ever owned. I don’t know how I got my hands on this thing, but it has the craziest and best chili recipes from amateur kitchens all over the USA. Thank god for Marlboros. Smoking is the best, dudes. All the crazy and totally different recipes made this book my inspiration for the Chili Takedown!

I didn’t collect the Marlboro Miles to win this. I wasn’t good at keeping those, but I was big into Reds in college- man I wish they weren’t “bad for you”, because I miss them. I also miss Luckies. It’s toasted! I’m such a coward, I should totally start again.

Cooking Whine

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I just got into it with a Trader Joe’s guy, who wondered why I was cooking with the Charles Shaw $3 wine, when for a couple bucks more I could buy something better to put in the food. Man, this guy…  It’s been said before, don’t cook with wine you wouldn’t drink. But I will pretty much drink anything. And the Trader Joe’s stuff really isn’t that bad! If you have a wine with subtle and amusing hints of blahblahblah, why would you pour it into a chili? You’ll pretty much miss out on the bouquet as soon as garlic gets involved. I’m not wrong! Different wines make food taste different, but you won’t be bummed EVER by cooking with one of their cheapo wines. Also, wouldn’t you cook with wine more often if it was only $3? I am always right.

All you other hot sauces can SHUT UP

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I’ve always had a majorly big crush on El Yucateco XXX, the hottest of their line. The adult rating might lead one to believe it is a head crusher, for novelty use only. But it’s really not that bad, and has the best flavor of any hot sauce I know. Brilliant on a sandwich or in soup or whatevs. Hands down my favorite hot sauce of all time.

I’ve tried some crazy hot sauces that have the power to destroy. I was on a film set and the Craft Services lady ruined my entire day with just a dab of Black Widow. I don’t see the point of those painful excercises, I don’t have anyone to impress. Actually, that’s not entirely true. Impressing people is kind of my thing. In fact, I won a hot sauce eating contest at Duff’s Bar last year,because I rule. The organizer was offering up hot wings in order of their hotness. After I manfully finished the last of his series of wings, he gave me a toothpick dipped in a vial he had in his shirt pocket. I sucked on the thing and my head popped off. I busted out an involuntary jig, and it took a half hour for me to smile again. Wow that was very hot indeed!

Old News, The Burger Joint is #1, dudes.

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This won’t be a shocker. It’s just that I got sick of looking at the ICS banner from the earllier post. So I thought, hey why not blow your minds with a Matt Timms Op Piece, that covers much-covered territory- the NYC burger. I’ve had them all, from Shake Shack to Donovan’s, and the only one in town worth eating is at the Parker Meridian Hotel, behind the curtain near the concierge.  Fries not so great. Well… I’ve said it. That’s pretty much all there is to say- if you say too much about a burger, you got a serious problem.  I mean come on people- it’s not chili.

Matt Timms and Goliath

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This is the mother of all chili parties., my arch nemesis, the International Chili Society !!!! I was a member in 2007, and judged a qualifier in NJ. Needless to say, those chili chefs are deadly serious, and out for blood. They make brilliant chili, and use matching costumes and megaphones to prove it. Their Superbowl is in Las Vegas. You have to attend at least one ICS event in your life, because wow.

Of course, the ICS goes against the ethos of the Chili Takedown. Competition chili insists on no beans. Spiced ingredients should be rendered invisible. A perfectly textured chili is proven by a spoon that stands straight up in the cup, then falls slowly to the side. And a ton of unofficial aesthetic principles that purists embrace. At the Takedown, we embrace chaos.

Here at the Takedown, your mediocrity is encouraged, as are all your bad ideas. We want to see originality and experiments. We want to see ingredients you’d least expect – canned peaches, cream cheese, a log of wood. We won’t shy away when you accidentally pour a bottle of bourbon in your chili- we will run to you. You can make a beef, pork, fish, veggie chili, we seriously don’t care.

The only rule at the Takedown is, it better taste good. That’s kind of important. So remember dudes, the next Chili Takedown is Feb 8th. See you there…

Boo Hoo! You may never know the Dorset Naga.

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Painful to the touch. 1.6 million on the Scolville scale. Terrifying. Pepper spray is 2 million on the Scolville. The Dorcet Naga is the hottest pepper available, and it isn’t. At least not here in the Land of the Sort-Of Free. Designed by a mad scientist in Britain named Michael Michaud, he was able to sell this to Tesco- the Euro Walmart. And it flew off the stinkin shelves all over the UK!  Who knew the Brits liked it that hot! Apparently, they like it a lot hotter than we do in the States. I for one am totally ashamed.  I thought we were cool. But I guess we aren’t because  we can’t get a god damn stupid Dorset Naga.

The Economist talks all about it. Read more here.

Yeah, I read the Economist. What?

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