Did you guys see that? Truly, the greatest Takedown of all time. Big thank you to all the weirdos who made 2 gallons each of their finest batches!!!! WOWWWWW!!!!!!! Check out the winners:
1. Anne Garrett + Katie Feola (#11 Pam Brown White Chili)
2. Nick Suarez ( #7 “If You Like it Then You Shoulda’ Put a Ring on it” Chili)
3. Theo Peck (#18 “Whoremel”)
PEOPLE’S CHOICE
1. Theo Peck (#8 “Whoremel”)
2. Steve Cash (#31 “Barbie’s Brew”)
3. Nick Suarez (#7 “If You Like it Then You Shoulda’ Put a Ring on it” Chili)
This was an intense battle of wits. I congratulate all who entered on a truly epic night. Wow. It was all great chili. And as per usual, I didn’t get a single bite all night. More pictures and info to follow!!!
Literally everybody loves the takedown. I’m talking elves, superheroes, mushrooms- you name it! The dudes at Comic Con can’t say enough good things about the takedown, when properly coached.
This takedown, I am unloading the last of my super hot takedown tees, at the LOW LOW price of $10!!!! If you show up at the takedown, you are elligable for this special one-time price! Get one!! Relaxxx in the knowledge that tiny little fingers did not sew each seam – these are American Apparel tees, each emblazoned with a gorgeous chili monster!!! AA tends to size down for malnourished hipster youth, so if you are normally a large, an XL will fit you perfectly. And if you are an especially tiny person, the XL makes a great nightie! I have M, L, and XL to sell- and this is a limited edition T-Shirt of a historic event. Enjoy.
Please also note: Visual results may vary when wearing the takedown tee. This model is a real, actual model that I know named Dan. That’s right, I roll with models and expensive people.
The Takedown cometh… and we are getting the amazing and generous support of some mega corporations!!!! Brooklyn Kitchen is THE Brooklyn go-to spot for gastronomes to buy there gear, take classes, and have their freakin knives sharpened!!! If you don’t own your own whetstone, go there. Check out their website and take their INSANELY CHEAP classes!!! Butcher Tom Mylan (a one-time Takedown judge!) shows you how to butcher a pig, a lamb and a dinosaur- for between $75 and $125! A Knife skills class for $25!!!! Man oh man you are so dumb if you aren’t already there.
And thanks also to Clarkson Potter, a division of Random House!!! Mega big names in their bullpen, including Rachael Ray (who I will one day marry), Alice Waters, and a ton of other humongously popular chefs!! My friend Emily T. is a very big gun over there- that is my connection to this publishing superpower. And her son thinks I rule. He is four.
The reason I love these guys so bad, is that they have donated prizes in the form of cookware and cookbooks, and for that, I am super, super grateful!!!
Takedowners!!! 30 contestants will be fighting to the death this Sunday Feb 8th!!! That is all that Union Pool can fit!!! Unfortunately, I have to start the ugly business of turning away contestants. These winter events have to take place indoors, so space is limited!!
So come on down and for $10 try all 30 of these brutal gladatorial chili challenges, and vote on the winner!!!!
The Takedown entries are coming down to the wire!!! There is limited space, and this Takedown promises to be the biggest ever!!! Union Pool can only fit 30 entries, so soon I will be forced to turn entrants away!!! It’s not that the takedown is getting too big for its britches, its just that I rule so bad, tons of people have signed up early, in a mad rush (because the takedown rules so bad). If you are DEADLY serious about entering, then by all means, email me and I’ll try and make room!!! But don’t hate me if you try to enter too late and all I can say is come on down and eat delicious chili instead, because that is super fun as well…
REMEMBER TO EMAIL MATT TIMMS IN ORDER TO ENTER! IF I DON’T CONFIRM WITH YOU, I CAN’T GUARANTEE YOU A CHILI STATION!!!!
Only a few slots left at this chili takedown!!! Feb 8th at 5PM Union Pool is at 484 Union Ave in Williamsburg Brooklyn !!! It’s never too late to sign up!!! That being said, don’t be too late to sign up!!! there is a limited number of spots, and competitors are writing in daily to ride the chili snake all the way to the very depths of hell!! Write Matt Timms to enter at mtimms7 at hotmail dot com !!!
Contestants, look forward to a $100 cash prize and other prizes donated generously by the jaw-droppingly good people at The Brooklyn Kitchen and Clarkson Potter!!!
Here is the first chili cookbook I ever owned. I don’t know how I got my hands on this thing, but it has the craziest and best chili recipes from amateur kitchens all over the USA. Thank god for Marlboros. Smoking is the best, dudes. All the crazy and totally different recipes made this book my inspiration for the Chili Takedown!
I didn’t collect the Marlboro Miles to win this. I wasn’t good at keeping those, but I was big into Reds in college- man I wish they weren’t “bad for you”, because I miss them. I also miss Luckies. It’s toasted! I’m such a coward, I should totally start again.
I just got into it with a Trader Joe’s guy, who wondered why I was cooking with the Charles Shaw $3 wine, when for a couple bucks more I could buy something better to put in the food. Man, this guy… It’s been said before, don’t cook with wine you wouldn’t drink. But I will pretty much drink anything. And the Trader Joe’s stuff really isn’t that bad! If you have a wine with subtle and amusing hints of blahblahblah, why would you pour it into a chili? You’ll pretty much miss out on the bouquet as soon as garlic gets involved. I’m not wrong! Different wines make food taste different, but you won’t be bummed EVER by cooking with one of their cheapo wines. Also, wouldn’t you cook with wine more often if it was only $3? I am always right.
This takedown, I am unloading the last of my super hot takedown tees, at the LOW LOW price of $10!!!! If you show up at the takedown, you are elligable for this special one-time price! Get one!! Relaxxx in the knowledge that tiny little fingers did not sew each seam – these are American Apparel tees, each emblazoned with a gorgeous chili monster!!! AA tends to size down for malnourished hipster youth, so if you are normally a large, an XL will fit you perfectly. And if you are an especially tiny person, the XL makes a great nightie! I have M, L, and XL to sell- and this is a limited edition T-Shirt of a historic event. Enjoy.
Takedowners!!! 30 contestants will be fighting to the death this Sunday Feb 8th!!! That is all that Union Pool can fit!!! Unfortunately, I have to start the ugly business of turning away contestants. These winter events have to take place indoors, so space is limited!!
The Takedown entries are coming down to the wire!!! There is limited space, and this Takedown promises to be the biggest ever!!! Union Pool can only fit 30 entries, so soon I will be forced to turn entrants away!!! It’s not that the takedown is getting too big for its britches, its just that I rule so bad, tons of people have signed up early, in a mad rush (because the takedown rules so bad). If you are DEADLY serious about entering, then by all means, 
Here is the first chili cookbook I ever owned. I don’t know how I got my hands on this thing, but it has the craziest and best chili recipes from amateur kitchens all over the USA. Thank god for
I just got into it with a Trader Joe’s guy, who wondered why I was cooking with the Charles Shaw $3 wine, when for a couple bucks more I could buy something better to put in the food. Man, this guy… It’s been said before, don’t cook with wine you wouldn’t drink. But I will pretty much drink anything. And the Trader Joe’s stuff really isn’t that bad! If you have a wine with subtle and amusing hints of blahblahblah, why would you pour it into a chili? You’ll pretty much miss out on the bouquet as soon as garlic gets involved. I’m not wrong! Different wines make food taste different, but you won’t be bummed EVER by cooking with one of their cheapo wines. Also, wouldn’t you cook with wine more often if it was only $3? I am always right..jpg)
