I couldn’t sleep the night before this one, you guys.  I was all tossing and turning with crazy thoughts bonking around in my usually awesome brain.  “Can New Yorkers make good jerky?”  “Do New Yorkers even like jerky?” “What if no one comes and its just me, crying, alone in a huge room with 50 bajillion pounds of jerky”  Well dudes, let me tell you- I am going to take a SOLEMN VOW to NEVER THINK AGAIN!  It only leads to negativity, and what’s the point??? The Jerk Off was BIZONCULOUS!!!!

Check out the awesome coverage at LocalBozo! He called me a genius!!!!! And as always, AWESOME pictures on Metromix by Gabi Porter!!!

As usual, the Bell House came through as the best ever venue in all the land.  Thanks to all the cooks, the Jerky companies and sponsors who helped make this thing happen!

Oh my god you guys, 2 people actually killed there own animals to make their jerky! Serious shout outs to Amy Stonionis for sitting in a blind all day somewhere in Pennsylvania, bagging a huge deer all to make you her family venison jerky recipe!!!  Also, there was famous Dermatologist Bobby Buka, who blammed a 500lb Boar with his trusty .30-06 last year!!!

I’ll talk more about all those dudes, but MOST IMPORTANTLY- Here’s the winnerz!!!!

Judges:
1 #11 Kevin Avanzato Drunk-n-Jerk presents Bourbon Ginger Lamb Jerky
2 #1 Gordon Lingley – The Jerky
3 #13 Cathy Erway – Jamaican Jerk Pork Jerky

Best Fiery – #5 Jimi Daly – Daliente Pepper Sauce Jerky
Best Self-Killed – #9 Bobby Buka – Boared to Death Wild Boar Jerky

People’s Choice
1#7 Fred Raphael – Professor Fred’s Salty Meat
2 #9 Bobby Buka – Boared to Death
TIE
2 #19 Martin Smith Dirty Jerky
3 # 8 Camilla Abder + Sean McDowell – Asian Rubdown, Blind Willy’s Apple Jack Jerky

The judges were EXPERTS!!!! So pumped I was able to gather a crack team of local jerky connoisseurs to judge this thing:  Bam Romero of Bam’s Beef Jerky, Rachel Graville of Gerald Jerky, Gretchen Skedsvold from Ragged Butte, and Liz Bullis from SlantShack!!!

Rub, the awesome NYC BBQ joint, was there! Big John’s Jerky was there!!!! Robert Fernandez was there, repping his upcoming Grillin’ On the Bay!!!

And now come join me AFTER THE JUMP to meet ALL THE BRILLIANT CONTESTANTS!!!

Continue reading →

Who among you is courageous!? Who among you is true!?  Who among you really really really loves jerky!!!???

Get ready you guys- The World’s Biggest Jerk Off – January 23, 4PM at The Bell House– The Takedown presents an entirely new series!!!  Jerky!!! Make any kind  of jerky you like- and jerky makers know, you can jerk a ton of different stuff!  There’ll be tons of brillo prizes from Wusthof, Anolon and Microplane! – and a chance to enjoy the camaraderie of your fellow jerkers!!!

EMAIL ME to enter!!!  Brooklyn shall judge the finest jerky in the land….

(Remember, cooks, you don’t necessarily need a dehydrator to make jerky- an oven set to low can yield the same awesome results!!! )

A woman’s coming to show us how to debone a venison haunch! Real!  Rub- the brilliant BBQ restaurant in Manhattan has promised to roll up their sleeves!  Several local jerky makers are likewise, out of competition, raring to jerk your heads RIGHT OFF with their own jerked meats for you to meet!

Oh and dudes, yes- we will have The Game on…

TICKETS AVAILABLE at The Bell House for a RIDICULOUSLY CHEAP $10!!!

JERKY FIGHT!

Oh and yes, for a mere $5, you can buy this poster at the Event!!! Get out your hammers and break them piggie banks! Now is the time for that!

Sponsors:

Like you, I’m not feeling especially fresh this morning. But that’s not the point. Last night, we emerged victorious from the rubble of a billion  cookies. I don’t want to even SEE another cookie ever again!!! Wait ha ha that’s not true, I filled up a mongo tupperware with extra cookies pilfered from the tables at the Cookie Takedown!!! Suckers!!! I’ll be eating cookies for DAZE!!!!!!!

I think this is a good harbinger of the amazing holidays we’re all going to have.  (BTW my birthday is December 29.)

Thank you, cooks! You are all so sweet and hard core, it is most vicious to serve with you on the front lines of doom.  Thank you Bell House, and all my rad sponsors!!!

Fascinating piece by the New York Daily News.  Scintillating VIDEO reportage by the New York Post !!!

And Gabi Porter took some AMAZING pics for MetroMix!!!! Seriously, this woman is the best photographer of people ever!

More pics are up at my Takedown Facebook Page! Add yourself to that!!!

Here’s the winners, in order of their dopeness:

Judges
(Our judges know a thing or two about cookies, because they are from Baked, in Red Hook! Renato Poliafito , Matt Lewis, and Eric Wolitzky! Eric was on TOP CHEF!!!)

1st Ben Lesnak and Allegra Angus – “P.B. I Love Thee”
2nd Greg Erskine – “Almond Toffee Coffee”
3rd Laura Wyatt – “Mint Chocolate Magic”

HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Michaela Hayes – “Not Your Mama’s Kitchen Sink Cookie”
Anne Garrett and Katie Feola – “Salty Bourbon Choco Choco Chip”
Mina Hochberg – “Chocolate Chip A La Mode with a Moment of Sea Salt”

People’s Choice
1st Mina Hochberg – “Chocolate Chip A La Mode with a Moment of Sea Salt”
2nd Greg Erskine – “Almond Toffee Coffee”
3rd Anne Garrett and Katie Feola – “Salty Bourbon Choco Choco Chip”

HONORABLE MENTIONS
Ben Lesnak and Allegra Angus – “P.B. I Love Thee”
Stephanie Venetsky – “French Toast in Bacon”
Denise Burrell-Stinson – “Pumpkin Chocolate Chip with Cream Cheese”

Every contestant is super pumped, not only to win  an Oxo spatula, but also a BOTTLE OF BULLEIT BOURBON! WOWZERS!!! XXX!!!

Thank you BELL HOUSE! You are so awesome- and still the best venue in Brooklyn and the sickest staff, who are my actual friends!!!  And thanks to all my brillo sponsors- Anolon, Microplane, Le Creuset, Bulleit, Wusthof and Oxo!!!

After the jump, CHECK OUT ALL THE CONTESTANTS AND THEIR AMAZING COOKIES!!! Continue reading →

Oh phew! The Cookie Takedown is finally here to defend the holidays from Giant Spiders!!!  December 19th 6PM at The Bell House,  so watch out ! The Takedown is always so awesome,you guys!   30 different cookies, all with seriously bad attitudes! If you think you need to dance now, go for it, dance!!! I understand!  This is the happiest takedown that was EVER.

THERE ARE NO COMPETITOR SLOTS LEFT! But email me to get on my mailing list, so you never get shut out again!

For $15, try all the cookies and vote on your most favorite! And oo, I hope you like eggnog, because for the first hour, Bulleit Bourbon is spiking the FREE NOG FOR ALL!!!   Also, I will be giving away a 5-piece Anolon Bakeware set to one super lucky attendee in a free raffle!

TICKETS AVAILABLE HERE!  Buy now, before they sell out!  Eeek!!!

Sponsored by:

A portion of proceeds goes to benefit Women’s Education Project!

(as if by magic, awesome poster created by Matt Langland!!! ! I hope you art lovers are appreciating the ambiguity in this particular action picture; is the Warrior Princess stealing the cookies, or liberating them?  Is the Spider Queen evil?  Or is she just surprised? Who is the real victim here!!!???  So many questions that remain unanswered in this deeply layered masterwork…)

After 8 years doing this, these contestant dudes never cease to amaze me.  Now the world knows that Brooklyn, NY is clearly the only place on earth to eat chili. True.  Thanks to the Bell House for hosting the baddddest Chili Takedown EVER…

But I was remiss! I FORGOT to mention Women’s Education Project on the stage!!!! A portion of the proceeds from the BCTD goes to support this AMAZING organization based in South India!!! Please check out the website and SUPPORT!!!

Now, let’s talk chili resultz.  Pictures available at my Facebook Takedown page!!!!! (which you should join anyway!!!)

And check out the Wall Street Journal article!!!!

Judges (Megagenius Cathy Erway and Mindmelter Scott Gold represented!!!!)

3rd Place: #26 Minnesota Midest Beef and Cheese Bread
2nd Place – #3 2 Handsome Guys Chili w Lamb, Smoked Pablano and Parsnip
1st Place – #7 Johnny Utah’s New Mexico Via Con Dios Chili

People’s Choice!

3rd Place #5 Becky MacGregor – Pho-bulous chili
2nd Place #6 Ilan Kutok – “Hell’s Knocked Up Chili
1st Place #19 Stephen Cash! – Turchiche Duck Chili

AFTER THE JUMP – MEET ALL THE PERPETRATORS!!! Continue reading →

The Originator. The Destructinator. The Mind Taker. The Brooklyn Chili Takedown has landed.  November 21, 4PM at The Bell House!  You’re going to eat as many as 30 different chilis- and the gas you create will punch  a hole through the sun! Now is your time to shine in the glory of this dishiest dish….

Vote on your favorite! Judges in the “Judged Catagory” are Cathy Erway and Scott Gold!!!

COMPETITOR LIST IS CAPPED! But email me to get on the wait list!!! People always drop out!

You’re going to see veggie chili next to beefy chili next to dinosaur chili and you won’t stop smiling because this is as good as it gets!!!!!

P.S. A happy couple celebrated their latest anniversary at the last Bacon Takedown!  Plan YOUR next make-out session at the Brooklyn Chili Takedown! You won’t possibly regret it!

P.P.S. YES this poster IS another Matt Langland original!!!!

Tickets available HERE!

Prizes sponsored by:

A portion of proceeds goes to benefit Women’s Education Project!

Were you there? Did you see?!!!?  We DID IT.  Thanks to all the ass-kickers who came and cooked up magic at the Bacon Takedown. And thanks to all the dragons that got slew.  300 lbs of bacon product were consumed – all wrapped up in a variety of different guises – I’m talking bread pudding, toffees, ice creams, stuffed figs…

Here’s some pics on Metromix!!! CHECK IT OUT!!! They’re taken by my favorite NYC photog Gabi Porter!!! She is so cool and nice!  Love her!

THANK YOU HUGELY to the Bell House (best venue in town), Hormel Black Label Bacon (best sponsor ever), and all the geniuses who cooked up a storm at the 2nd ever Brooklyn Bacon Takedown!!!! THANK YOU THE MOST!!! Phew!  Here are the glorious results…

AFTER THE JUMP, check out all the resultz.

Continue reading →

Food and Wine Magazine just gave Matt Timms the ULTIMATE HONOR:  They think he is the Most Important Human!  In a ranking system that thoroughly culled all humans and rejected the bad ones, Matt Timms made the Top 10!  The piece is titled: Top 40 Big Thinkers Under 40!  I’m No. 10!!!!!!

Thanks BIG TIME, Food & Wine Magazine!!!! So super sweet!!!!

First, a lesson about history:

In ancient times, Incas or was it Mayans invented chocolate and chile  and LOVED IT!

That’s exactly what we did at the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens this October 2!  I recruited 6 CELEBRITY TAKEDOWNERS and gave them $150 each and marching orders: make a dish that combines chocolate and chiles in the best way possible. If you know any Mayans or Incans, maybe get their advice, too.

6 warriors. 300+ eaters.

At noon, these 6 dudes showed up at the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens, where The Chile Fiesta took place!!! And that’s when it happened!!!  THRONGS of gardeners descended on our little table space  and attacked the sweet and savory dishes laid out for them.  (10,000+ people came to the Chile Fiesta this year!!!) Quick as they could, they gulped down:

Chocolate and Chile beef  and mole Trigonas!!! by Greg Erskine
Chile and Chocolate Fudge and Chocolate Milk!!!! by Alyson Mance
Chile and Chocolate Icebox Cake!!! by Andrea Lynn
Chile and Chocolate Ice Cream!!! by Chris Greenberg
Chile and Chocolate Fondue and Bacon!!!! by Daniel Marino
Chile and Chocolate Chicken Wings!!! by Adrian Ashby

It is criminal that there can only be one winner because it was all so good, but hey that’s the way the chile and chocolate cookie crumbles, doods. Greg Erskine’s Trigonas charmed the multitudes!

Matt Timms explains about life, and being a winner. Contestants look on in awe, or was that pity...

Thanks to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden staff- who are so super cool… this is the 3rd year they’ve invited the TD to come in and show the world how it is done!!!

The thrill of victory is almost hallucinogenic for 3-time TD winner Greg Erskine.

PS In a show of remarkable sportsmanship, fellow competitor Andrea Lynn wrote a nice piece about Greg Erskine’s Trigonas at Serious Eats!  check it out!

IS SOLD OUT!!! Thanks big time to all you lucky ticket holderzzzz!!!!

Oct 17 4PM at The Bell House in Gowanus, Brooklyn !

Things got pretty crazy after the first ever Bacon Takedown last year… Bacon blew up. The Bacon Explosion was a thing that happened. The ridiculous assertions of shark-jumpage did NOT come to fruition.   A bacon chap stick was gross.  And Matt Timms began jet-setting the Bacon Takedown to 6 other cities around the US of A!!!

WELP! The Brooklyn Bacon Takedown is BACK ON HOME TURF. Oct 17 at The Bell House!!! And I want you to come down and ENJOY 20 different BRILLIANT recipes… from your very own homegrown New Yorky cooks… they’re each getting 15lbs of Hormel Black Label Bacon to work with…

POP QUIZ, HOT SHOTS: What won People’s Choice at the last year’s Brooklyn Takedown??? The correct and true answer is Mike O’Neil’s Bacon Bourbon Ice Cream…  and yes, he will be returning to defend his title.

He’ll be battling it out in bacon hell with all the others, fighting for Wustof Knives, Anolon Pots, Microplane Graters, and a YEAR’S SUPPLY OF HORMEL BLACK LABEL BACON!!!  Who shall emerge, bloodied but unbowed!!!!???

Judges:

Kate Krader , Senior Editor at Food & Wine Magazine !

Erica “Chef Smartypants” Wides from “Let’s Get Real, with Chefsmartypants” (previously titled “Why We Cook”) on Heritage Radio Network !

Jimmy Carbone of Jimmy’s No. 43 in Manhattan !

THIS CLASSIC MOTHER BACON TAKEDOWN OF ALL TIME IS SOLD OUT!!!!

Saddle up, New York. Sunday Oct 17 is very important.

Main sponsor:

Prizes sponsored by:

Portion of ticket sales to benefit: