$290 owed for a parking ticket and my car towed? Fiddlesticks!!!! Not enough, I say! That was the most expensive and unreasonable thing I have ever seen, but bring it on, Houston! (turn to camera) Oh! Hello! Want to know why I’m so happy and almost don’t hate Houston cops? Because Houston is magic with amazing cooks who are wonderful and cool!
I even SPONTANEOUSLY TWEETED to the Takedown community right after the event!!! : “Have to say it: Houston cooks made this the best Avocado Takedown yet … Across board, most original, best recipes we’ve seen so far!” And I wasn’t kidding, or playing around! I meant it! TODAY agreed – check out there write up!!!! And NY Times named us the hot thing To Do in Houston that April Fools Day!!!!!
The super nicest and coolest people there- I almost hate to show you the winners, because they’re all winners and… and… boo HOO!!! Here, just go on without me- this is the avocado shocktroops listed, there recipes, and the winnerz!!!!!
THE RECIPES
Mike Ray – Sonora-cado Avocado Pie
Bryce Kaufman – Avocado Wrapped Bacon!
Missy Yi – Classic Chicken Salad w/ A-faux-cado Mayo
Michelle Ramsey – Avocado Cheezecake, Mango Whip and Lime Reduction
Amy Ponterella and Mikey Cuomeaux – Fried Avocado Tacos!
Susan Terry-Wilhelm – Avocado with crab! (and check out more STW coverage HERE!
Craig Payste – Avocado mousse in a pecan pie crust
Staci at Radical Eats – Fried Avocado Tacos!
Pat Grier -RAWsome Avocado Choco-LOT Pudding, Avocado Gazpacho Fusion
Bianca Vance – Deep Fried Avodillas, Parm Crisp with Smokey Shrimp Tomatillos, and Mexican Choco-cavo Pudding Alexandra Kenney – Avo Banana Bread, Avo Mac and Cheeze, fruity guac with cheese crisps
Mike Flannery – Avo Colladas and Avo stuffed shells!
Joe Fasullo – Avocado Cannolis!
Dan Cutts – Avocado Mint Ice Cream with candied bacon!
People’s Choice Winners!!!!
1)Bianca Vance – Deep Fried Avodillas, Parm Crisp with Smokey Shrimp Tomatillos, and Mexican Choco-cavo Pudding and Alexandra Kenney – Avo Banana Bread, Avo Mac and Cheeze, fruity guac with cheese crisps
2)Michelle Ramsey – Avocado Cheezecake, Mango Whip and Lime Reduction
3)Staci Davis at Radical Eats – Fried Avocado Tacos!
1) Michelle Ramsey – Avocado Cheezecake, Mango Whip and Lime Reduction
2) Mike Ray – Sonoro-cado Pies
3) Dan Cutts – Avocado Mint Ice Cream w/ Candied Bacon
HONORABLE MENTION
Pat Grier – RAWsome Avocado Choco-LOT Pudding, Avocado Gazpacho Fusion
Thanks to Avocados From Mexico, for providing 1000 avocados, and allowing this event to tour!!!!!! And thanks to Warehouse Live- beautiful huge space!!!
Prizes sponsored by:
Portion of procedes benefit Women’s Education Project!
Care to try unlimited Avocado Recipes, Houston???
Oh phew! Whelp, I have saved my pennies, and with the generous help of Avocados From Mexico, The Takedown is BACK in Houston TX, this time with an Avocado Takedown!!!! (Remember I pulled off a Houston Bacon Takedown last time? Wowzerz.) And because of my beautiful sponsor, I am able to provide an ENTIRE CRATE of AVOCADOS to any Houstonite who would like to participate in the crushing of heads and avocados that will ensue!!! Make any dish you like! Now, I know what some of you are thinking: a whole lot of guacamole!!! But I know a LOT of you are also thinking whoah, whoah whoah! Just guacamole!?? Yeahright… Avocado intellectuals KNOW that pretty much ANYTHING is possible with an avocado- and Avocado TDs in Los Angeles and Denver yielded spectacular concoctions!!! just imagine what Houston gonna do!!!
Prizes are super brilliant- featuring cookware from Wusthof, Anolon, and Microplane… and more!
TICKETS AVAILABLE HERE if you’d like to come down and eat limitless varieties of avocado solutions made by local cooks! ALL THE avocado recipes you can eat! Vote on the bestest… if you were thinking of brunching it that Sunday, I think this might be a better idea…
Houston Avocado Takedown
Tickets only $15
Sponsored by:
Prizes sponsored by:
Portion of procedes benefit Women’s Education Project!
CATEGORY: General
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Lauren and Missy better sleep one eye up in Austin- they made a lot of enemies on Sunday, what with winning both Judges AND People’s Choice at the 3rd Annual Austin Bacon Takedown! I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes, rolling around town with a billion cookware prizes, and a year’s supply of Hormel Black Label Bacon. Some girls was just born unlucky, I guess.
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And once again, Austin proves you don’t need SXSW to have a good time. You only need a pickup truck filled with bacon, and a few good people. Thanks to all the cooks for once again rolling up there sleeves… they grabbed Austin by the throat and squeezed, until Austin’s head actually popped off and showered us all in blood and laughter!
Thanks also to the new home of the ABTD, Shangri La! What a cool space, great staff and stern drinks! We partied so hard! Hormel Black Label Bacon was the cooles sponsor of forever, and proved it by showing up with a PHOTO BOOTH, SICK T-SHIRTZ and BACON GIVEAWAYS! Also, I did what I said I would do- I learned to knit, just so I could give each and every bacon cook a hand-knitted piece of actual bacon!!!!
Check out PICS (by ace photog Pete Van Kleve) on the TAKEDOWN FACEBOOK PAGE! ADD YOURSELF!
Here’s a recap, for those of you that care about Things That Are Important.
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Guest Judges who bestowed their local food wisdom included:
· Three Little Piggies (Tres Cochinitas); 2011 winner
People’s Choice Awards:
1st: Lauren Gaetano & Missy Farahani – “Pig Puddin’”: Bacon Bread Pudding with Sage and Gruyere
2nd: Austin Bacon Eaters – Figgy Piggy
3rd: Desi Cration & Headless Highness – Frosted Bacon Filo Cups
Judges Choice Awards:
1st: Lauren & Missy – “Pig Puddin’”: Bacon Bread Pudding with Sage and Gruyere
2nd: The Terrell’s – Bacon Gumbo with Bacon Cornbread
3rd: Austin Facial Hair Club – “CBICBS”: Caramel Bacon Ice Cream Brownie Sandwich
4th: Christy Horton – Bacon Butterscotch Blondie with Maple Butter cream
Best Booth!
#13 Team Oh Yeah!
Full Contestant List & Recipes
Frank Mancuso – Trailer Park Bark
Desi Cration & Headless Highness – Frosted Bacon Filo Cups
Ryan & Team Dissapointment – Oops I Did it Again: Bacon macaroni & cheese in a cone
The Terrell’s – Bacon Gumbo with Bacon Cornbread
Kate – Caramel Ba-Corn
Dionne Rizzo – Bacon Bourbon Mini Scones
Sara Barr – Bacon Apple Cheesecake with Bacon Candy
Austin Facial Hair Club – “CBICBS”: Caramel Bacon Ice Cream Brownie Sandwich
Amber & Sera – Bacon Cheddar Biscuits
Christy Horton – Bacon Butterscotch Blondie with Maple Butter cream
Marla Sarris – Bacon Wrapped Chicken Chorizo Jalapeño Poppers
Team “Oh Yeah” – Macho Bacon Loco Bacon Tacos
Austin Bacon Eaters – Figgy Piggy
Lauren Gaetano & Missy Farahani – “Pig Puddin’”: Bacon Bread Pudding with Sage and Gruyere
Says Addie Broyles: “The Bacon Takedown draws a slightly more eccentric crowd of competitors, who are in it as much for the fun of being at the event as to wow the judges with their creations.” Well put, homegirl!!! Thanks Austin!!!!!
SPONSORED BY:
Prizes sponsored by:
Portion of procedes benefit Women’s Education Project!
CATEGORY: General
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March 11 at 2PM!!! What better place to showcase 5 BILLION TUNZ OF BACON than at Shangri La on 6th St???!!! Returning for the 3rd year to smashtastic Austin, Matt Timms hosts a day of interesting and fascinating bacon ideas from local cooks that will transmorphanize you all into slobbering beasts of the netherworld!
2PM March 11 @ Shangri La — > DIRECTIONS
EMAIL ME TO SIGN UP AND COMPETE! HURRY! Only 2 spots left! My generous sponsor Hormel Black Label Bacon will GIVE you 15lbs of bacon to create any bacon idea you think properly reflects your moxie. The prizes are NO JOKE this year!!!! (Cusinart! Le Creuset! A year’s supply of Hormel Black Label Bacon! and tons more cookware!!!)
TICKETS AVAILABLE HERE! A mere $10 to come and eat the finest bacon dishes- there just can’t be a better deal in ever- and eat and eat some more and finally vote on your favorite dish- be it sweet or savory or a subtle blend of both! And what a dazzling opportunity to hang with Matt Timms and party your face off! Oo!
Bacon Poster (rejected - Hilah Johnson said it was dumb, but awesome...but mostly dumb.)
SPONSORED BY:
Prizes sponsored by:
Portion of procedes benefit Women’s Education Project!
CATEGORY: General
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Check out the SLIDESHOW for all Gabi Porter’s pics at ZAGAT!!! Check out coverage of the winners Andrew Gottlieb and Piers Moreton on Fox News!!!!!
It was sold out. A lot of you didn’t get to see this thing. Because I want you to feel what it is that we felt that day, I wrote a haiku to commemorate the occasion.
Celestial Moonlight of the Serenity of My Serenity
by Matt Timms
The warriors howl
on the cheezy battle field.
Macaroni. Tears.
Never before hath a poem so transported an entire audience directly back in time- to a place of total Brooklyn cheeze!
Here below is the cooks that gave their lives unto this infernal madness of eternal fury of putrid lust of blood puke. For their sacrifice of unholy cheeze, we thank them most wondrously in a serious way. Below the list of players and then a list of the people who even actually won actual prizes!
Thank you Takedownerz! Thank you ZAGAT! Thank you Bell House!
Sonya Samuel – Star Crossed Fried Chicken Mac and Cheeze Popperz
Erica and Rick – 4 Cheeze Broccoli Rabe Sausage M and C
Pete Johnton – A Kick in the Teeth BBQ Spare Rib
Nazim Chowdhury- B3 -Bacon Bechumel Balls
Adrian Ashby – The Mac Daddy
Susan Palmer – Lobstah Fondue w/ Truffle Cheeze Croutons
Stephanie Wortel – Jackie’s Mac
Laura Maio- Zimroth – Modernist Cusine Mac
Piers Moreton – The Baby Maker
Eryn Stutts – Ugly Food Tastes Better – Reuben Mac
Andrew Gottlieb – 4 Mushroom Mac and Cheeze
Nicole Goodkind and John – Gruyere and Cheddar Mac
Zephan Courtney – Rosemary Mac
Dru Hilty – Mama’s Midwest M and C
The Four Horsemen of the Porkopalypse Homey Mustard, Pulled Pork, Candy Maple Bacon
Greg Erskine- Beefy Blue Cheese
Caesar-Robert Alfano – Quack and Cheeze
Edward Rivas – Fromage a Trois
Josh Bardavid and Jennie Pan – 5 Cheeze Bacon Infused Cream Cheeze
Sarah Mahr – Beer Brauts and Blue
James Ruth and Lindsay – Misfits Mac and Cheese
Marty B – Potato Sticks and Bacon M and C
PLACE MAKERS!
3rd Susan Palmer – Lobstah Fondue w/ Truffle Cheeze Croutons
2nd Josh Bardavid and Jennie Pan – 5 Cheeze Bacon Infused Cream Cheeze
1st Andrew Gottlieb – 4 Mushroom M and C *
Honorary Mention (for a classic take on mac and cheeze)
Zeph Courtney – Rosemary Mac and Cheeeeeze
People’s Choice!
3rd Nazim Chowdhury- B3 -Bacon Bechamel Balls
2nd Stephanie Wortel – Jackie’s Mac
1st Piers Moreton – The Baby Maker
pic by Gabi Porter
EVENT SPONSOR:
PRIZE SPONSORS:
*Andrew Gottlieb’s Mac and Cheeze info- read this!!! : Dried Morel and Porcini integrated into the Bechamel, along with oungFontina. Then baked with Gruyere, aged Fontina and Emmentaler.Garnished with Pickled Beech Mushrooms, Roasted Oyster Mushrooms withMeyer Lemon, a Heritage Bacon Lardon and Bacon Fat Bread Crumbs.
CATEGORY: General
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epic art by Matthew Langland
TICKETS ALL SOLD OUT!!! SORRY DUDES!!! BUT HEY, WHY NOT GET ON MY MAILING LIST SO THIS NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN??? EMAIL ME!!!
January 29, 2PM at the Bell House – The Brooklyn Mac and Cheeze Takedown! $15 to eat 25 Mac and Cheezez, as interpreted by 25 local New Yorkers!!!!
TICKETS HERE!
Okay, so trivia question:
You’re on a desert island and there is no hope of rescue for like, a billion years, if you’re lucky! But you have a magic conch that magically prepares meals, but only of one kind of food, actually. What do you tell the conch to feed you for all of eternity? I know what you’re thinking- pretzels! Good guess, but the answer is actually MACANDCHEEZE!
When I esplain to you the reasons why, it is easier to comprehend: Macandcheeze is both nutritious AND fantastic! That’s right, according to my calculations, MacandCheeze is the only necessary thing for indefinite island survival.
This Takedown is sponsored by Zagat, who is currently conducting its 2012/13 New York shopping survey!
EVENT SPONSOR:
PRIZE SPONSORS:
CATEGORY: General
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pic by Natash Ryan, Metromix
- Do you know the Iron Maiden song “The Flight of Icarus”? It’s a story they once wrote in the ’80s about a dude who flew to the sun on man-made wings. Sort of like “Icarus”, you sat down and ate a lot of cookies and egg nog, which kinda weighed you down a bit and so you fell to earth later that night. You probably went home and spent the rest of the night watching romantic comedies and whimpering about your stupid full belly of yumminess, and why did you just do that? Listen dudes, don’t beat yourself up- maybe you can hit the gym in 2012, but let’s live in the present shall we? It’s much more funner!
Check out pics at Metromix, and LocalBozo and Brooklyn Exposed!!!!! You might see your happy face in their slide shows, so check it out!
pic by Natasha Ryan, Metromix
Thanks be to the Bell House- who are so the best venue and staff in the land. Thanks be to my sponsors Cuisinart, West Bend, Chicago Metallic, Oxo, Anolon and Microplane and Bulleit Bourbon– for all the super dope prizes!!!
And thanks, most humbly and radly to all the cooks. They made 300 cookies each, and fed a sold out crowd of drunked-up revellers and each other! HAPPY HOLIDAYS YOU GUYS!!!! YOU ARE THE BEST PEOPLE EVER!!! (I’m super glad to say everyone who came was able to walk away with a Le Creuset spatula, an Oxo pastry cutter, and a bottle of Bulleit Bourbon!!!)
After the jump, let’s see the winnerz, and also ALL the yummy cookies at the Brooklyn Cookie Takedown:
Continue reading →
CATEGORY: General
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Excerpted from the holojournal of Matt Timms, Time Prince. December 18, 3058:
…my hydro-wetform was nearly dry, and with no more cryptobolts in my Spanka Blaster, I thought about death. Smoke whisped across the piles of green nukestones. At first I couldn’t see them. Then I could and screamed. My scream was lost in the unrelenting pangadust storm that whipped around me. A band of 30 muto-ferrels, shambling, limping, oozing – broke out of the cruel mist. The warped creations were spawn of centuries of The Last War’s radiation. Some were naked, others clothed in a makeshift armor from trashed hovercar parts and rotten plastobolts. None of these fiends were human, and represented to me the collective guilt of mankind’s own hatred of itself. Sillhouetted against an unkind wasteland, they each held aloft something I couldn’t at first see-and didn’t care. For suddenly they let forth an unholy, unified “FABAHGAHWAH!!!!!” and I must confess I filthed myself at that moment, and was ashamed. The pack slunk forward and surrounded me. I would never forget what they clutched in their perverted claws! Each of the 30 mutant warriors offered not war, but… COOKIES! An endless array of COOKIES! A message of peace! Of holiday cheer! I stayed 2 hours with this mangled tribe, and that very night I learned their ways and traditions. They are generous and true, and in spite of their hideous appearance I have much respect for this culture- especially their baking skills, which are second to none…It was a happy holidays indeed!!!! …
December 18 2011 3PM at The Bell House! Come see for yourself the future apocalyptic culture of cookies! $15 to eat 30 different cookies, baked by 30 locals. VOTE to name the Main Best Cookie, plus enjoy an hour of free Bulleit Bourbon eggnog (because Happy Holidays you guys!!!!).
P.S. poster by TALLBOY! EMAIL ME if you’d like to order an 11×17 inkjet print for $5! Pick up at the Takedown or later!
Prizes by:
CATEGORY: General
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All pics by Gabi Porter, Metromix (check out the full pic slideshow!)
Wow, what a bunch of scumbags from hell! Sleazing around the Bell House with their chili and their malevolent Brooklyn ideas! Takedownerz in Brooklyn are the TUFFEST!!!! Before this, I didn’t know about Goat Chili, or Alligator Shrimp Chili or… wow how is it that I can’t seem to get Beano interested in sponsoring me!? We created more methane than a field of heifers! Beano if you’re reading this, wtf!???!!!
Thanks as always to The Bell House for its Good People and many drinks!!!! If you stayed late, after the TD rocked Nashville Pussy and the Supersuckers- so if you like chili and you like rocking, Sunday was the best day of forever!!!
Here after the jump are all them winners- and a list of the Takedowners and their perfect recipes… Continue reading →
CATEGORY: General
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Um can I just say that wow? Avocados overflowed, streamed out our ears and down the beautiful snowy slopes of Denver- creating a avolanche (same joke twice hmmm) so large that we were all completely and happily squished underneath!!!!
There were “Zippy Muffs”! There was a dude actually named DJ Psycho who basically makes the crap out of some serious Avo Cheeze cake, turns out! There was fudges and jams and soups and cocktails… And Denver did something I’ve never seen before at a takedown: a bunch of the contestants made multiple items with 50 Avocados from Mexico given them each (seriously!) This woman, nay this GODDESS OF FUN Randa Duffy made 4 different dishes!!!! A tart, a colada cocktail, a ravioli, and even empanadas!!!! I am NOT EVEN KIDDING she did all that herself…
CATEGORY: General
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READ ON TO FIND OUT THE WINNERS AFTER THE JUMP! 
