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The banshee seductress eviscerates the lonely and the damned. (2014 Bkln Meatball Takedown!)

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The time of meatballs is nowish, world. Portal ENGAGE. Destination: Planet Meatball!  Brooklyn Meatball Takedown is Feb 9, 2-4PM at The Bell House!  Call for the finest Brooklyn home cooks to punish the weak!!!

Each ball a planet.  Each planet, a window into your dismal, stinking soul!  You deserve the best!!!

COOKS!  Email me to compete!  And if you’re wanting to eat the motherload of meatballz, TICKETS HERE Brooklyn…

(Hauntingly face-punching artwork by the great artistic sikko Katie Wendt, who is obviously messed up, yo.)

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Portion of proceeds benefit Women’s Education Project!

 

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Brooklyn eyes and stomachs exploded! read on if you can stomach it!

If there is ever a cookie war, and that shit could actually happen, I have assembled my troops.  60 unsmiling Brooklynites who will fight and die for me or at least for cookies. You are in so much trouble, the world.

Huge praise to them, and to the Bell House.  Check out all the pictures HERE!

And here after the jump are the winners from Day 1 and Day 2, Brooklyn Cookie Takedown!!!!

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Austin Cookie Takedown! The Power and the Cookies!!!!!

Austin!  The 3rd leg of the Holiday Cookie Takedown tour!!!

Email Matt Timms to compete at chilitakedown@gmail.com !!!

Hey you guys because wow!  CALLING ALL COOKIE COOKS!  Make a big batch of cookies and bring it to Shangri La, December 15 2-4PM, and show Austin about how your cookies are the filthiest example of Holiday Cheer in the whole wide world!!!! Win prizes (seriously the prizes are huge- just look below at prize sponsors) and drink and fun!

EMAIL MATT TIMMS at chilitakedown@gmail.com to sign up!  I’ll send you the detes, which are simple (make a lot of cookies!)

ATTENDEES! TICKETS UP HERE!!!!!! Want to eat a bajillon cookies?  Just $15 to do exactly that and drink the finest holiday cocktailz!!!  (21+)

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Portion of proceeds benefit Women’s Education Project!

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Stay Cookies, Boston! Love the players, love the game!

Boston, um you did what now? Actually a ton of cookies is inside you? Guilt shblilt! I bet I ate more!  Thanks to The Middle East (Have you tried their stuffed eggplant in the upstairs Lebanese restaurant?  Holy shit!) for hosting this super rad cookie bomb- and to all the sweet-ass Boston home cooks for being so hard.  You guys are not, nor ever will be, a bummer. HAPPY HOLIDAYS BOSTON!!!!

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READ ON – Love The Players, love The Game!!!! Continue reading

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Boston Cookie Takedown – Cookie Kaiju Abomination!!!!

BOSTON CALL FOR COOKS!  Email me to compete!!! (chilitakedown at gmail!)

Sunday Dec 1 at Middle East!!!  2-4PM!!!!  The first stop on a 3-city tour brings radioactive special powers of tummy destruction to Boston!!! Enjoy the home baked cookies of 20+ Bostonites!!!  Chug Sailor Jerry cocktails!!!  Laugh and laugh!!!

Unlimited cookies!!!  Only $15!! Tickets up at MIDDLE EAST!

(PS holy jeezo are we even safe??? poop-pantsing poster art by artist Ricardo Roques!!!)

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A cat’s main skill is getting petted… Or so I thought!

Did you know that cats provide a lot of services? They can be pirates. And detectives.  Some cats hold down a steady job in NYC! Did you know that some cats can, incredibly, balance a cupcake and a bird on their damn head?! Some cats’ special skill is that they know how to eat chocolate or even lollipops!  Indeed, the first-ever Cat Painting Takedown taught us about a lot of important information.

We auctioned off all the cat paintings and raised $4000 for BARC!!!!!!!!!

at the first ever CAT PAINTING TAKEDOWN!

Thanks so much to all the Brooklyn painters, with all their skill at painting cats!  And The Active Space- the smartest gallery in Bushwick!!!!  Check out all pics, gifs and vids by Patrick Delaney HERE - you got to see these crazy ass cat paintings!!!

Guess what kind of NYC cat is my favorite!?  Deli cat, that’s who.  Those guys are on constant mouse patrol, but always take out some time to get petted, and I appreciate that. But all cats are important.

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Sugar Takedown ZIPPY WHEEEEEEE!!!!!! (FUBBA ZUBBA!)

Sugarspazzattak! It’s coursing through our veins!  Peel us off the ceiling!!!! 12 local Chicagoans DID IT with 220 lbs of sugar, and now I’m runnng around town like a cracked-out happy 5 year old! Not sure if its sugar rush, or just the sheer inspiration of hanging with local Takedownerz again!  Home cooks make me fizzy!

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Thank you Chicago Cooks!!!  Thank you Chicago Food Film Fest!!!  

Check out all the pics at the Food Film Fest Flickr page!! And some hot shots at Thrillist of  the recipes!

1 Savannah Tea Roll-  Barb Drumm and Jean Mahone
2 Eggnog Cookies w/ a Rum Glaze – Giuseppe Paoulos and Sarah Rubin
3 S’Mores Bite –  nochefsallowed.com 
4 Snickerdoodle – Jo-Marie Frigo
5 Chocolate Caramel Candy Hazelnut – John Ihns
6 Faux – Jito –  Wendi Wolmer
7 Old Fashioned Toffee – Jennifer Fay Stoker
8 Cotton Candy Martini – Jennifer Fay Stoker
9 Chipotle Chocolate Chip – Alexis Wilson
10 Cinnamon Sugar Crumble w Imperial Pumpkin Beer – Reverend Dave Ciancio
11 Olive Oil Biscotti 
12 Beer Brittle – Larry Cauldwell
 
Judges Choice (Fany Gerson and DAvid Ronengarden)
1st #1 Savannah Tea Roll-  Barb Drumm and Jean Mahone
2nd #5  Chocolate Caramel Candy Hazelnut – John Ihns
3rd  Eggnog Cookies w/ a Rum Glaze – Giuseppe Paoulos and Sarah Rubin
 
People’s Choice
1st #5  Chocolate Caramel Candy Hazelnut – John Ihns
2nd #4 #3 S’Mores Bite –   nochefsallowed.com
3rd #1  Savannah Tea Cake –  Barb Drumm and Jean Mahone
5th #8 Cotton Candy Martini – Jennifer Fay Stoker
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Bkln Chili Takedown 2013!!!! What a colossal mess!!!!

You guys we really messed up!  Chili everywhere… I bet heaven is just like this: chili and pillows.   This year- a face-punching record of 29 Brooklyn Chilis showed up!!!!!

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Thanks for a brilliant time, chili heads!  Thanks to all the fans, for voting with their heads and not their hearts- like true chili heads, you didn’t just vote for your friends… you voted for the yummiest – in a sea of yummy chili!!!!!

After the jump, here’s all the recipes and the champion chilis of this 11th Annual Chili Takedown!!! Continue reading

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Brooklyn Cookie TAkedown!!! 2 DAYS OF NO MERCY!!!

This year the Brooklyn Cookie Takedown is  2 DAYS LONG FESTIVAL!!!  Matt Timms takes over the Bell House, Dec 7+8 (Saturday AND Sunday!!!), 2-4PM both days- just so you can eat cookies and drink bourbon like the Gods of Holiday Cheerz that I know you all are!!!!

CALL FOR COOKIE COOKS!  PICK ONE DAY!!! We are looking for a few good cookies.  You got cookie skills that the world desires?  As always, this is a no-rules event- any cookie is fine by me: fudge, blue cheeze, bacon, drool… OH WAIT.  Just make sure the cookie was baked in an oven.  Your “bark” would be DQ’d, son!

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Tickets BELOW!!!!

Day 1 Tickets!

Day 2 Tickets!

DRINK SPONSORS (an hour of free eggnog!) :

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Chicago Sugar Takedown! Rocking your sweeties at the Chicago Food Film Fest!!!!

Hello Chicago here is a challenge that should blast your home cookin’ minds utterly.  At the Chicago Food Film Fest, I’m giving each home cook a FREE 18lbs of Sugar in the Raw, to make any dish at all!!!  You could make sweeties!  Muffins!!! A pop!!!!  Or some candied savory thing you think is important!!!   The point is, bring in your finest sweet-ass recipe that best defines this most funnest of sweeties!!! The crowds will judge the winningest!!!

CHICAGO COOKS!  EMAIL ME at CHILITAKEDOWN @ GMAIL to compete for prizes!!! I can give you 18lbs of any type of Sugar in the Raw (pickup TBA) and you dream up any recipe involving sugar – could be a candy, a drink, or even a savory!  Up to you!!!  Make it divisible by 250 tastings (not whole dishes! Just tastings) and bring it in Nov 23 to Kendall College for the crowds to enjoy!!! I will provide all cups, tasting cups, napkins, plates and any other expendables!     Email me to sign up and with any questions!

At the Chicago Food Film Fest, Saturday November 23  -  at Kendall College!  Come check out a day of food films, brilliant food and booze- culminating in a mind-breaking Takedown to put all other takedowns to SHAME!!!!  Tickets HERE!

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